Reader's Block

Since the miscarriage, I have started reading and abandoned probably a dozen novels and memoirs. I don’t feel bad not finishing a book—I’m not assigned this reading—but I don’t typically read a third or even half of a book, then give up. The books have felt pointless. Predictable. Boring.

I have Reader’s Block. Other than poetry collections (where I skip around and dip in and out), middle grade novels read aloud for the family (where I have an audience / demands to read), and picture books (again, audience with demands), I finish nothing.

Just to put this in context, reading is my only actual talent in life.

I have my library card number memorized. My children’s names are all from classic novels. The only detention I ever received in school was for reading a novel during science class.

I remember being in first grade, walking into our school library with my class. The librarian showed us the section of books at our grade level, then took me aside and gestured to the whole library - “this is your reading level,” she told me.

I suppose I’m back to the small shelf right now.

For the Littles:

The Day the Crayons Came Home by Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers
A sequel to The Day the Crayons Quit, I find this book a bit long but worth it. It didn’t rehash the same jokes from the first book and was entertaining to read as a parent because who hasn’t had the woe of finding a crayon melted in the dryer? My favorite quote: “Do you want to know the REAL color of the sun? Hot. That’s what.”

Family Readaloud

Benjamin West and His Cat Grimalkin by Marguerite Henry
By the same author that gave us the Misty of Chincoteague novels, this is a biographical novel about a little Quaker boy who grew up to become one of America’s first great artists. The chapters are short and include pictures, and I thought this gave the kids an entertaining glimpse into what life was like during that time period. We had some good discussions about how families can support each other in pursuit of our art / calling, even if it is not a calling we ourselves are familiar with.

For myself:
Proofs and Theories by Louise Glück
I’m writing a class on Glück, so I skimmed through and reread parts of this collection of her essays. They are a mix of thoughts on writing, on becoming a poet, and scholarly criticism of other poets - “I wrote these essays as I would poems; I wrote from what I know, trying to undermine the known with intelligent questions. Like poems, they have been my education” - she says. I think that if you are not very interested in reading or writing poetry, you may not like it—but if you are at all interested, there were some valuable insights into seasons of writer’s block, how to challenge yourself as a writer, and the use of “silence” in writing.

A Month in the Country by J. L. Carr
A short, poetic novel about a veteran of WWI, Tom Birkin, who lives in a country town for a summer to restore an ancient painting on the wall of the church. It is a quiet and thoughtful read, with much to say about survival. This one was easy and delightful—literary but not at that Faulkner-depressing level—and the length helped me actually finish it. Highly recommend.

Writing Updates:
A few places to read / listen to my poems this month:
- In Gotham City Lit, “In Case of Fire”
- “What Happens to Your Tattoos When You Go to Heaven” was featured on Bammerhab podcast
- In Pulsebeat, “Merciless”
and don’t forget to sign up for my online generative writing class on the poetry of Louise Gluck or my February class, Poetry Writing Through Grief